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The experience dominated my thoughts through the rest of the day. I had convinced myself that I was somehow half the way between waking and sleeping, that my lost eye sight had tricked my brain into being asleep and desperately trying to not worry about dementia or "going mad".
Some time went by, maybe a week or so, before it happened again. No visits from Lincoln, though. That's far too wacky! This time a far more realistic smile from Queen Victoria before she turned her head and vanished. That sparked a bunch of hallucinations which ranged from various Victorian age dressed people to my best friend sitting on my toilet, cheerfully exclaiming "Hello mate!" and disappearing - Although I couldn't hear him say it, it was simply "mouthed" at me.
By now, as you might imagine, I was getting a little worried for my sanity. Weirdly, I had stopped becoming frightened of the hallucinations and felt disappointed when they vanished. Perhaps seeing something clearly again was the reason for the "feel good" and my brain was releasing some kind of chemical.
Of course, I was unaware that I was experiencing Charles Bonnet Syndrome. It took a visit from a charity worker to explain that what I was going through was completely normal. He even asked the question "Old fashioned things?". I laughed out of relief and started to look forward to my next round of visits from a different century. Sadly, they never returned. It was as if my brain had worked it out and decided I no longer needed to be fed these images. Soon after that, more surgeries and the slow recovery of my sight began.
Head to the NHS website to read more about this syndrome and the hallucinations in detail. However, they're not dangerous, they are common for anybody of any age following sight loss, they do stop.
As always, I encourage everybody who has diabetes to attend their eye screening appointments. Please go to any follow ups and have any treatments offered to you.
Cinnamon! Ah, yes the frequently touted and often mocked cure for diabetes! Of course, it won't cure your diabetes and that's why it's often mocked but it does taste pretty good on various things. Strange, though, that after recently eating a lot more cinnamon (I really like a fried banana sandwich) I've finally been able to stop taking medication which I've been on for around 10 years.
I've had to take eye drops since developing retinopathy and various other eye nasties in 2010. The drops have changed, based on my changing condition, a couple of times. The latest batch began in 2014 and they were prescribed to control pressure and irritation. Very successful they were, too! After my 2014 surgery, I have been stable in the peepers. I thought that was down to a combination of better T1D management and my 2 x 2 eye drops per day. I might be right in regards to the T1D management but it seems that things have changed in the eyes dept.
Earlier this year, my eye surgeon suggested that I should stop taking the drops to "see if anything changes". I did that for around a week in the summer only to find my appointment had been rescheduled. Frustrating! But, during that week, I never noticed any real discomfort in my eye. Encouraged, I tried again before the latest appointment in the world's hottest clinic.
If you've ever had ocular hypertension then you'll probably know the pain. Just like blood glucose levels, eyes have pressure levels that are given values. A normal value is in the teens, give or take a point or two. In 2014, my eye pressure was 44. I was immediately put on a drip to drop the pressure. I've suffered many pains in my life but eye pressure pain is by far the worst thing that I've ever felt. It lasted for 24 hours before I was able to get the drip into my hand and find relief. 24 hours of agony feels like a very long time, i wouldn't wish that pain on anybody. So, to be asked to stop the eye drops which help to control pressure was certainly a worry.
It's been over two weeks since I stopped the drops, 10 days since leaving the sauna ward, and all is stable in that eye. I don't know if I'll ever need to go back to the drops or if that's the end but I'm delighted. To just wake each day and do the T1D thing without reaching for two bottles and a tissue as well, to go to bed without fumbling around, late at night, for the same... it's less work! and it's less burden. This felt like life in 2009! only with better T1D management and no midlife crisis.
Was it the cinnamon, though?!
No. Let's not be silly. I've likely needed to stop the drops for a while. I have stability in both eyes and despite my visual impairment I consider myself to be very lucky and happy with my lot. Blessings counted.
To end this little blog post, I'd like to encourage you to always attend your eye screening appointments and any follow up appointments and to go for any treatments that you might need. I don't want any of you to go through the pain and darkness (physically and mentally) that I went through. If you do attend your appointments then you can reduce the chances of anything nasty happening to your eyes. Some of you will already be living with visual impairments and going through your own personal battles. Please don't ever give up on medical science, new treatments and new technologies. Ask about them, ask FOR them! and share your story without fear. There is no shame in having diabetes related eye complications.
Try the fried banana sandwich, too! :
- 2 slices of white bread, remove crusts
- 1 small sliced banana
- Some sugar (brown works best) and some ground cinnamon
Heat a tablespoon of butter in a pan, place the bread in the pan, add the banana to one slice while the bread browns and sprinkle your cinnamon and sugar on the banana. Flip the banana-less slice of bread on the top and flatten with a spatula. Turn a few times to brown evenly and sprinkle a little more sugar on each side.
You'll need insulin.
True, he is cute and a burning ball of nuclear grade energy. As we know, using our own energy burns up that glucose pretty efficiently in most of us and so "Puppy Low" rather than "Puppy Love" seemed like a good title for this post. Sorry, Donny.
Billy arrived during the final week of my Steptember Challenge. I was already exercising a lot more than usual and chalking up a good number of hypos during the first few weeks of the month, at least. This new, very cute, energy sapper really threw a spanner into the works. Very short but high intensity bursts of exercise were sending my BG tumbling. Alongside a different waking and sleeping pattern, it's made for a difficult week with Type 1 Diabetes. I'm adjusting... kind of.
The experience made me wonder about how others cope with different variables thrown into the mix on a frequent basis. Shift workers certainly sprung to mind but I'm sure there are others with equally or more challenging lives. The solution to many of the challenges and life changes which we experience is, of course, technology. I know, a tweak of the Banting Juice might keep things in order, a couple more finger pricks per day might do the trick too. However, for those wild times, the big life changes, the why does my puppy keep on pooping moments, it seems like tech is the answer.
Some of you may have read about a lady who had waited a year for a pump clinic appointment, only to be refused funding at that appointment because of her sleeping issues. Yeah, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry either. Other stories were shared, including a particularly bizarre refusal tale which the lovely Lesley Jordan (from JDRF UK) shared. Take a look, you'll see that on my time line among all the puppy photos. Technology within diabetes should always be burden reducing for us alongside improving or maintaining our long term outlooks. My switch to a pump has vastly improved my T1D burden and, so far, the numbers all suggest that my long term outlook is in a good place. Where would I be without the pump? Struggling, for sure. I certainly wouldn't be trying to walk 250,000 steps while puppying. It could be easier, too! I could be looping and many more highs and lows would be reduced. I'll be a looper, soon enough, I'm in no real hurry.
So, while my hypos have been on the increase, I'm still in a very good place and a place which I can adjust to with the new arrival in the household. Others aren't so fortunate when it comes to accessing the technology which they need. Here is a link to a Twitter poll about hypos. The results are interesting! However, I know of at least two people who are in the replies with huge hypo numbers. Both are fighting for access to a pump and I have one question; Why?
Why are people with (sorry, my friends, no reflection on you) large numbers of hypos having to fight for access to a pump that will almost certainly reduce those dangerous and debilitating events? Are those numbers not raising large red flags and causing fast-tracks to Pumpville? I'm really at a loss. One hypo is a hypo too many and could lead to horrible things happening, including pre-mature death. To minimise those events should surely be a high priority and if many avenues have been explored without success then it's really time to sign off the pump paperwork.
We've seen these types of tech refusals before, of course, in the last 5 or 6 years since Libre hit the radar. It stinks of purse strings and worry about spending rather than offering the best possible care to diabetics - care which will ultimately reduce NHS spending on diabetes related complications. But what about NICE guidelines? What about them?! I don't know about you guys but, NICE don't live my life or manage my diabetes. I know what I need for my best care and to live my best life. Push for the technology which you KNOW will improve your life now and in the future.
Billy agrees.
Me wearing sunglasses and a black hoodie, standing in a field with a line of trees in the background on a bright and sunny day. It looks like summer is coming to an end in the UK. At least, the super-hot days have been replaced with warm days and decisions to make about what clothes to wear when you venture outside. Hoodie's cover many bases and that's what I chose to wear, in the photo above, while on Day 2 of my Steptember Challenge, yesterday - more on that later in the blog post. You may have already heard about my story of sight loss and subsequent visual impairment. It must be around 15 years ago when I was first told "You need lots of laser surgery" followed by panic, appointment avoidance and, 3 years later, a rushed appointment to Eye Casualty which ended with "I'm going to be seeing a lot of you". He (my eye surgeon) was right. I was in the operating theatre several times from 2010 to 2012 and then again to fix ocular hypertension in 2014. For 18 months of my life I was almost entirely blind and unsure if I would ever regain any sight. I'm not here to repeat my eye complications story, today. The experience changed me and, to be frank, had I not regained any of my sight then I'm not sure where I would be or if, indeed, I would be here at all. I'm grateful for what I have rather than regretful of what I've lost. Diabetes is well known to be associated with sight loss, you probably know that. You might be scared of that happening to you, you might have experienced sight loss already or you might be avoiding the subject entirely - in which case, congrats on getting this far into this blog post. I'm acutely aware of what sight loss means and what it feels like to live with. Between 2010 and 2012, I was active on Twitter. 'Whaaaaat?! But your account was created in 2017!' - That's true. The account you know me from (@DiabeticDadUK) was born in 2017 but I've actually been on Twitter since the very early days in a professional and personal capacity. In 2010, I had no niche. I would tweet about anything and everything and it was fun until my retinas went pop. I was aware of accessibility on my iPhone and after having it activated for me (I couldn't see the screen) it became my lifeline and an escape from my loneliness. Visual impairment robbed me of: - The ability to drive. - The ability to work. - A social life. - My favourite hobby (playing poker) - My confidence and self-esteem - I could continue this list forever but you get the idea. The accessibility feature on my phone allowed me to stay connected. I could hear messages, the news, sports reports, who couldn't believe what on Facebook, if huns were OK and tweets! The tweets were my favourite thing because I could talk to lots of people and share stories and still laugh despite my condition. The most frustrating thing was when somebody would tweet a photo. I yearned to see what they were happy, angry, sad or excited about. I couldn't, nobody was describing their photos and I was left to concentrate on tweets which were text only. Here we are, in 2022, over 10 years later. I can see well enough to not need accessibility switched on. Again, I'm incredibly grateful. However, there are a lot of people in the diabetes communities which have a greater degree of visual impairment and they do need accessibility. These days, there is an ALT text option on tweets which contain an image or GIF. Amazing! Last week, I launched the Accessibility Pledge on GBDoc through the @GBDocInfo account. As a community volunteer, I wanted this to come through the community and not through my own personal account. Other volunteers were happy with the pledge and we've all been trying to follow it since Sept 1st. It's been wonderful to see so many individuals adopt the pledge and adjust how they use twitter when it comes to using ALT text. You're a great bunch and I salute you all for doing that with such good spirit and kindness towards people living with visual impairments. Other community accounts have adopted the same approach as GBDoc, too. I'm very happy to see those accounts setting a great example of accessibility to their followers. Sadly, despite encouragement and tagging other accounts we've yet to see a response of any note from the big charities and diabetes organisations which are not using ALT text. I have written to the CEO of Diabetes UK, Chris Askew, a person who has always been engaging and friendly with me - indeed, Chris was kind enough to host a GBDoc Tweetchat for us a few years ago - and he has promised to flag this up to the right people in his team. I think/hope we'll see changes to the DUK tweeted images very soon. Update: Diabetes UK now use ALT text regularly on their tweeted images. Thank you, Chris and team. JDRF UK would be the next port of call for diabetes charities. As wonderfully active as the JDRF staff are on Twitter, very few seem eager to use ALT text. The JDRF UK account managed to use it once, in the last week. Quite why once and then not again is baffling and infuriating to people with visual impairments. On Saturday (yesterday), JDRF UK were very active in promoting a virtual event which I would've been delighted to amplify to my followers and across GBDoc accounts. But, sadly and inexplicably, no ALT text had been used so, I couldn't promote it. I can't amplify tweets which exclude people and tweets which contain no image descriptions are excluding a great number of individuals. I think I've offered enough "heads up" tweets to JDRF UK and again here in this post. I won't be trying to send an email or a private message to the CEO or other staff members for fear of harassment! I'm also aware of wasting my time and energy in some places and I'd rather focus that on organisations who listen to community members and acknowledge their communications. I hope JDRF UK will follow the lead of others in this regard and do the right thing very soon. Update: JDRF UK now use ALT text regularly on their tweeted images. Thank you. I have a lot of connections and good relationships to lovely people who work in the world of diabetes. I will be approaching them all in due course, should they be omitting ALT text from their tweeted images. Guys, seriously, this is NOT work for you. Some of you are speedy-ass typists and excellent writers of copy. To describe your images in a sentence or two will not break you. I promise this is not some kind of a scam, I do not want your sort codes. Start doing this today, please! Even if you tweet one image every month, use ALT text on that image. It won't detract from your enjoyment of Twitter - you might even gain new followers and friendships because of it! It's a win/win situation. The Steptember Challenge? My poor, achy, feet. Find out more about this here Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine! |
Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!