Sunday, February 18, 2024

Back To The Future


Great Scott! Or similar words have been exclaimed by me since the summer of 2023. The reason for such excitement? Hybrid Closed Loop. You've probably read some of my gushing on the subject and I continue to talk positively about it today because... well, sleep never gets old.

Prior to HCL, like many using the tech, I was using a pump and various types of CGMs separately and that was perfectly acceptable. My numbers were as good as they'd ever been; Great Time In Range & HbA1c. I felt no urgency to switch to closed loop.

As is often the case, talking to peers results in changes and it was an unrelated conversation that resulted in one kind person sending me a spare Dexcom G6 transmitter... then another from another person... and Anubis transmitters from two others. People within the diabetes community are really very kind. All that tech meant I could try HCL for a good while - over 6 months. So, I did.

There are lots of posts about how well things went for me in that period. Towards the end of my HCL time, I had my diabetes review with my consultant. He agreed that HCL was working well for me and that funding would be discussed at an upcoming meeting. Fantastic!

Of course, the tech expired as tech has that annoying habit of doing. I thought nothing much of it. I assumed it would be a seamless transition back to simple pumping and CGM use. It was. Reinstalling the old app was a pain in the neck because I can never remember usernames and passwords but, after some swearing and sweating, I managed to get set up again with Dexcom One. Quite soon, I realised just how much work I was putting in to this type of management compared to the recently ended Hybrid Closed Loop days.

The numbers were not looking great. *sigh* I thought I'll get through the life of the current sensor, then I'll buy a G6 transmitter and hop back aboard the Looping train. I noted the difference in managing Type 1 Diabetes through HCL vs standard pumping, on X. Peer support came to the rescue (again). Another spare G6 transmitter landed on my doormat just two days later. The #PayItForward movement is a remarkable one. My donor would not accept any reimbursement for postage. Blessed, I promised to donate something to my favourite diabetes charity - Action4Diabetes as my own Pay It Forward. Of course, if I'm ever in a similar position to my donor friend, I will do the same thing for others. 


So, I'm back in the future! and over the last few days, the numbers are already proving how incredible the technology is once again. When just pumping and using a CGM separately, my average blood glucose was 8.5 mmol/L. I know that's not terrible, really. Yet, I could "feel" it. I was sluggish and just... blunted. Finding the right words is difficult. Needless to say, I was not myself.

And after a few days in the loop?...


Already, a significant difference over the previous 2 days. I think the numbers speak for themselves. You've probably read enough gushing from me, by now.

What happens next? I'm going to relay my experience and thoughts to my diabetes team. To move to HCL, then move off it, then move on to it again seems a little unusual and they may benefit from hearing about what has happened while looking at the data.

Also, and I've said it many times, I can never repay those who have been kind to me over my diabetes in the last 7 years - since opening up and talking about it online. I do try through various means. Some of those don't sit well with everybody and that's alright. Even the kindest will meet opposition and anger and jealousy. Do good things with good people. You'll usually finish up sleeping soundly, especially if you're using Closed Loop! 

If you'd like to support me over the time that I give to others, my online content, or if you'd like some direct support from me then check out these links:

Monday, January 15, 2024

Acceptance

It's not easy to find an image for most blog posts. What can adequately represent diabetes in a single photo? I mean, apart from a train crash or a person screaming. Insulin seems to cover the subject pretty well. I think most people understand what an insulin pen or a vial of Banting Juice means, these days. 

It gets more difficult (to choose an image) when talking about the nuances of the condition. I think that's especially true when referring to the mental aspects of diabetes. The screaming person might work? Perhaps not for the subject of todays post; Acceptance. 

The seed for this post was planted when I read through a thread on social media. An exasperated person exclaimed "Have I got to do this for the rest of my life". It struck a chord with me, I've been there, I've said the same openly and privately over the last near 40 years. 

The first time the daunting reality of type one diabetes gave me a slap in the face was soon after my diagnosis. I had been home for only a day or two when I questioned how long I'll need to have injections for? The answer, from my mum, was truthful - forever. I've written about that story previously, you may have read it if you're a regular reader of my blog posts. Over the years, and probably following momentous diabetes events, I silently consider the condition again and how it is "forever." 

Those events? Complications are pretty high on the list. Generally, for me at least, T1D is 99% tedious, 1% terror. Complications are terrifying. If you went to your eye screening and came away with some news that was less than good, and you didn't have a little moment, then I question your humanity. Of course, there are many other examples including kidney problems, heart, etc, but you get the gist. Alongside coming to terms with the burden of this condition, diabetics have to somehow find an acceptance of what might never happen, or what is already happening because of it. Complications really do suck. 

I came to an acceptance of my T1D after a very long time. It involved; not hiding it, talking to my peers, ranting on social media, and learning all I could. I even have a Type 1 Diabetic tattoo. I think it's pretty safe to say that I'm alright with this condition being with me forever. "Alright" doesn't mean happy, far from it. I would give all I have to be free of this pissing evil. I know that's unlikely in my lifetime and I don't build up my hopes of a cure. 

So, the thread. I recognised the frustration and fear and anger in those words. I recognise how it is all amplified when a doctor, or a badly worded letter, has news that something might be wrong because of your diabetes. That background music is suddenly the dominant noise. 

I don't know if acceptance of complications or the prospect of complications is an easy thing to achieve. How do you accept what is terrifying? My own eye complications have been stable for a number of years now. The visual impairment that I was left with took several years, and some poor life choices, to come to terms with. Today, I'm a "it is what it is" type but, just like the disease that caused my VI, I would give all I have to be free of it and to have my old sight restored. Acceptance, being alright with it, does not mean happy with it.

Today is "Blue Monday" - the most depressing day of the year by all accounts. It seems appropriate that blue is associated with diabetes, a condition that undoubtedly causes depression in so many.

If you were affected by any of the words in this blog post, by diabetes, complications, or any aspect of your life today, tomorrow or any day then please seek out support. 

 If you'd like to support me over the time that I give to others, my online content, or if you'd like some direct support from me then check out these links: