Ah! What's the point?
You've probably said that in regards to your diabetes, before. I certainly have when my BG won't drop or I'm Yo-Yoing around from hypo to hyper. It's exhausting and I think it's only natural to look for the "easy out". In some ways, not caring for a few hours or even a day or two feels like self-care. It might save me from burnout and help me to retain some sanity. Of course, it's not a long term solution to T1D and the burden of managing it. Eventually you HAVE to care at least a little bit.
I think that's pretty standard for most chronic conditions. If you never care or take any interest then it seems likely that further problems will occur or your life will be shortened. The various list of diabetes related complications are well documented. Indeed, I know one of them very well! I have no desire to get friendly with any of the others so I do what I can to minimise the risks.
I'm active in managing my T1D. I'm very active in the online T1D communities. I read a lot and try to understand the things that are new to me. I believe those things can only be positive when it comes to my health and my long term outcome.
Diabetes aside, I live with other conditions, as many of you do. Some (such my eye conditions) are relatively new and only a decade old. Others are lifelong. Because of those I've faced discrimination from lots of different sources since the day I was born.
Whaaaaaaaaat?
Yes, it's true.
At 4 years old I heard an adult suggest to other adults that I shouldn't be at school. I had forgotten about that incident until my mother reminded me about it. She was furious and I believe she tore into the adult in question. Nothing further was said. My first taste of disability activism? September 1981.
I've never felt particularly active in disability activism. I've had good friends who have stood up for me. In my late teens I once stood up for myself a little too firmly during an exchange of views, in a pub. I'm sure that chap's jaw is just fine now. (I was 18, it never happened again)
Since the Internet arrived, more so social media, I've been more vocal about discrimination. Perhaps even more so in the last couple of years since my Twitter audience has become quite large.
Now, I'm tired. Just as T1D gets exhausting from time to time and I switch off, being anti discrimination is tiring.
I've probably picked too many fights. Fights that aren't mine because I'm outraged. I've yelled into the void about the unsavoury and privately been agreed with and supported by so many different people. The same people who willingly follow and continue to engage the unsavoury. What does that tell me? That my experiences aren't important enough. Those who are guilty of such behaviour deserve the time and energy of others who KNOW what's happened. And it's not only me. And it's not only ableism. It's tiring when even your friends seemingly don't trust your words and the different words from others.
Right, I've had a little vent. Breathe.... breathe...
Back to the self-care thing. I'm taking a big step away from social media activism of all kinds. I will continue to try to treat everybody as an equal, of course. I'll still be anti-discrimination. I won't be quick to fight the fights of others. Discrimination isn't going away any time soon while passive agreement of it remains.
Thanks for reading. I know that wasn't very diabetesy. I promise the next one will be.
