Oversharing in Diabetes

I remember writing about sharing information, data, stories in diabetes before, probably a year or two ago, and my thoughts on the subject haven't really changed much as we head towards 2023 but a few things have happened which have sparked conversation in the last year.

On the Twitter, I tweeted this about Sharing T1D yesterday. I'm fine with others liking or not liking to share their diabetes information. Health, including diabetes, is a very personal subject and often subjected to stigmatising remarks, bullying and sometimes just generally unhelpful (and often unsolicited) advice. Little wonder that some prefer to not share anything in regards to their own diabetes with the prospect of such negativity. I really understand that, I hid my T1D for a long time because I didn't want to hear the advice or the patronising encouragement or have to explain what it was, what type, do I have to inject... yadda, yadda. It was just so much easier to hide it for the majority of the time and social media is such an easy place to hide. It's easy to have lurker accounts on pretty much every platform, easy to sit back and read rather than joining in the conversations. Hiding and not sharing is a very safe place to be.

There is a safety aspect to consider when sharing, too. Who knows who lurks behind the keyboards of others and what their intentions might be? Only last summer, I was made aware of a prolonged period of stalking and accusational tweets aimed towards me from an Australian advocate account which I'd blocked some 18 months beforehand. Disturbing stuff which took me away from Twitter for a few days to consider my options. Thankfully, that episode came to an end once I'd brought it to public attention but it was shocking and upsetting. It's very easy to upset somebody on social media without trying and those we upset well, they might not have enough sandwiches for a picnic. How do we share but stay safe? There is no simple answer apart from avoid offering personal details to people who you don't know. Sometimes, even that might not be enough if a determined person wants to track you down, find your employer, etc.

So, is it worth it? Yes! I think that offering your story, your experiences, your info can be really helpful to your peers. I imagine that you've read something in regards to diabetes which you've found useful in how you manage your own diabetes. Maybe those words came from somebody living with the same type of diabetes, a person who was willing to share their experiences and information. That's why you should consider sharing your experiences and information! It is the cheapest and easiest way to "pay it forward". Of course, don't make it easy for the sandwich deprived to locate you in person, avoid publicising your phone number and sort code and if an unpleasant encounter does occur then my best advice is to ignore it. You might choose to use the mute function on your chosen platform rather than the block button to minimise the oxygen given to the angry fires. To not give oxygen to the fire has been a long term piece of advice of mine but I'm still guilty of doing the opposite from time to time. I'm only human and the urge to vent can be overwhelming in the face of serious sandwich deprivation. I'll try harder in 2023.

What about the feelings of others when you share? Perhaps you've had a great HbA1c, your best ever, and you hit your socials to spread the news and celebrate your good day. I suspect you'll mostly be met with encouragement and good cheer from your friends and peers. However, you may also be met with words which dissuade you from sharing such info because others might be having a tough time with their A1c or general diabetes management. I have a lot of sympathy for anybody who is struggling with their diabetes, I try to make myself available to anybody who needs to talk through groups, mentoring or just a simple message exchange but the struggles of others should never stop you talking about your own diabetes if you've had a good day or a good result. This condition is relentless and despite the tech advances it will continue to be so for the foreseeable. Little victories need to be celebrated, I find them to be morale boosting, I feel more in control of my diabetes and, when others share their wins, I feel encouraged by them and pleased for my peers.

To not share results or information through fear of upsetting others is a backwards step in peer support. If we were to stop sharing our lived experiences, what worked, what didn't, what hurts, what itches, a great A1c, a dodgy TIR, etc then how do we learn about advances in tech and medicine and care and solutions? Our diabetes team? Yeah - I'm not sure that the closed looping crowd would agree. I wouldn't agree, either. Without reading the experiences of my peers, I wouldn't have discovered Flash, CGM and insulin pump therapy as soon as I did - three things that massively improved my diabetes burden and numbers.

If you do feel negatively about the shared information or experiences of others then I think it might be worthwhile to seek support from different areas, especially if such sharing is becoming overwhelming to you and making your own diabetes burden even worse. 

I am pro-sharing when it comes to diabetes. It is the foundation of peer support, in my opinion and there are very few dangers from tweeting your last A1c result. Oversharing is where the dangers lie, keep your private info protected and remember that fire and oxygen thing.

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

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Peer Judgement

I've been a vocal advocate of peer support within Diabetes for a long time. It would be strange, in my position, to not be. The list of support, help and friendships offered to me has been incredible and I'll be forever grateful.

Alongside my peer support gushing, I have been deliberate in my attempts at trying to warn others about the potential pitfalls of engaging with peers within Diabetes circles. The ugly side of peer engagement rarely sticks its head above the parapet fortunately but it is there and as more official avenues of care begin to recognise the positives of peer support, I think it is very important to have a firm safeguarding and vetting procedure in place to at least minimise, if not eliminate, the possibility of damaging engagements between people living with Diabetes.

The Internet is a wild place. Anybody can create accounts and spout all kinds of hate, extreme views or health damaging advice.

"He's clearly not using the technology correctly..."

"Perhaps his grocery bill would be lower if..."

"The truth hurts" - A personal favourite of the peer judges.

Those three came from one person, a person who lives very locally to me and who (at the time) was claiming to be an active volunteer for Diabetes UK. He wasn't a volunteer, of course and it became apparent that he had aired his views about others' Diabetes management across social media resulting in various bans and outrage from other peers.

I think the great thing about Diabetes Twitter is the unquestioning welcoming and support of new people. I hope that remains because we were all newly diagnosed and frightened, once. I hope that remains despite the recent welcoming of an individual who claimed to be a student nurse, recently diagnosed with T1D. Tonnes of love and support from various quarters arrived in his life. At the same time his true colours became apparent. The colours of a racist, ableist, liar. The Twitter community noticed and large numbers were quick to express their displeasure before turning their back on that person.

This week, I passed the two month mark in my pumping journey. It's been great and I felt very encouraged by the real life changes as well as the improved numbers. I tweeted my numbers for a comparison to my life as a Diabetic on MDI. Much positivity followed until this reply:

"So clearly not worth having such an unsightly pump?! What gets to me is how damn ugly & unsexy all related to diabetes is!"

I did reply, later on but when I read that response I was angry. I was angry for others more than myself because I'm a man in my mid 40s and, after living a life with disability, I am almost numb to hurtful comments. I was angry for the newly diagnosed, the children, the impressionable, the low on confidence... I can't imagine how the teenager felt, after starting pump therapy recently, once they had read that response. How would you have felt? So, I didn't reply immediately. I retweeted the comment and invited others to share their views. It's a few days later, now and their tweet is still attracting replies. I think that underlines the strength of feeling and the general dismay.

What does pop up occasionally, if I've highlighted something which is horribly offensive, discrimination or possibly damaging to the health of others is the old "They're allowed an opinion" response. Sometimes dressed as freedom of speech and sometimes with a heavy hint of accusation with a #ThoughtPolice hashtag. Here's the deal; If a person responds to something you've done or said with words that express offense, that they feel discriminated against, that they're worried your words or actions could be damaging, then it's probably not for fun. It takes bravery for a person to call out these things. Then it's down to you to take a breath and consider if they have a point, was it a misunderstanding you can clear up or do you need to re-evaluate things? Perhaps even apologise!? I think everybody should be free to express themselves if that expression is not going to cause distress or damage to another person or persons. That would seem to be a reasonable, kind way to live and engage with others.

Words which struck a chord with me came from Dan Newman (@T1D_Dan) when the subject of harassment came up during an online conference. Dan said that if you read something which you don't like then simply block that account. He's right. You're not obliged to respond to anybody and your only duty on social media is to that of your own well being. You may be questioned, I certainly have been, about why you've blocked X, Y or Z. You don't owe any explanations to anybody. Do all your social media in a way which is comfortable for you and not others.

It seems that peer support could be a part of your Diabetes care through the NHS in the future. To the decision makers, the leaders, I encourage you to tread carefully by vetting each person you enlist, reading their social media and asking others for thoughts. If you offer somebody a job then you ask for references, don't you? and to everybody else online or otherwise; Stranger danger. 

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

BUY DIABETIC DAD A COFFEE HERE

Prefer PayPal?

BUY DIABETIC DAD A COFFEE THROUGH PAYPAL 

Representation

 Diabetes in the public eye has to be a great thing, right? A diverse representation of all types of people can only reduce division, hate and normalise disabilities, including Diabetes.

Coronation Street got the Type 1 ball rolling a few weeks ago and last week Pixar joined the Diabetes party with a character in their Turning Red movie, seemingly wearing Diabetes devices. Both great things for Diabetics, particularly the Coronation St character as it appears they'll be focusing on the condition more than the Pixar movie's passing nod towards it. I hope the Coronation St character will be allowed to develop in the coming years and the difficulties of living with T1D are brought to the public attention, at least the public who still watch that particular soap opera.

Beyond the recent TV and movie rep', I've been thinking about others who have proudly acknowledged that they have Diabetes. In the mid and late 1980s, as a young boy, my only "Celebrity Diabetic" was Gary Mabbutt. Gary played for Spurs and was capped by England and he is still well known in Diabetic circles today, particularly football fans. That was it, for me. I'm sure there were others but Diabetes was a much less visible condition beyond the Diabetes clinic at the hospital.

Technology has made Diabetes a visible, talked about thing. It's forced the hand of Diabetics to become that bit more public about their condition. A pump, CGM or even a small Libre disc are physical signs which are often hard to hide compared to the sneaky finger pricks and injections, done covertly or behind closed bathroom doors. Perhaps we have more to thank technology for than simply improving the management of our condition? It's out there! WE are out there!

Not everybody uses technology, of course (despite what you might see on social media). Perhaps some will still hide it because years of conditioning can take a long time to overcome. So, representation is important in other ways. Representation by the masses (our peers) is increasing and I believe that is the most important way to have Diabetes seen by the general public, a general public which still struggles to understand types and which holds ideas of Diabetes, that are ignorant and harmful, firmly in their minds.

How you represent is individual to you, your life and your comfort zone. I speak and write about it in various places and I choose to do so using what I consider to be an effective method. Your methods might be different, of course. What is important to you in regards to Diabetes is almost certain to be different to me and others, too. A brief look through Twitter will reveal a variety of subjects, pushed as hugely important and they may indeed be that to a minority which could include you, or other aspects of Diabetes might be higher on your agenda of importance. What is important for us all is to talk about Diabetes, type if you wish, specific things relating to it if you wish, openly.

Social media is an easy place to air views and share your experiences. It's an easy place to represent D. If that's your comfort zone then embrace it and go to town! It can have a surprising, positive, effect. I'm astounded at the positive comments which have been sent my way in the last couple of years since growing a social media presence. All I do is share my experiences and views while engaging with my peers. 

We don't always agree, either! and that's an important part of life, too. To accept that others have their views and opinions on their own condition and health and subjects relating to it. It's important to not turn those times into arguments, to not bully or name-call or reduce yourself. The people who do that are not helping to represent. Using aggressive, "industrial" language does not help to represent - Do you want your children to read frequent use of the F word? Your choice, of course! I'm far from a prude and I have certainly used foul language and a harsh "tone" before. Within Diabetes, I try to keep it family friendly. That's not because I'm focused on engaging with families. It's because it's much harder to alienate or offend anybody of any age when the language is PG and the tone is soft.

I encourage everybody living with Diabetes to share their views. Talking about it is great representation for your peers and yourself. It's normal to have a health condition or a disability. Don't hide.

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

BUY DIABETIC DAD A COFFEE HERE