The Thinker
Life is an endless list of decisions. It can be as mundane as what socks we're going to wear today or something as serious as a relationship or job choice. Whoever you are, decisions are an inevitable part of life.
Diabetes isn't a decision, largely. I know Type 2 Diabetes can be avoided or delayed in SOME people but for individuals like me, with Type 1 Diabetes, it's not a choice. What comes after a diagnosis of T1D is a new life of decision making. Your old life decisions will still exist, of course but now you've got to find some extra thought capacity for the decisions that diabetes brings.
"180!" is the joyous cry at a game of darts, when a player scores the maximum. It's also estimated to be the number of extra decisions a person with T1D makes in a single day. Let's do some easy maths:
- You're a light sleeper and you manage 6 hours of sleep per night
- For 18 hours you're awake.
- You're making, on average, 10 diabetes related decision per hour.
- A decision every 6 minutes.
- 1,260 decisions per week.
- 65,520 decisions per year.
I'm in year 36 of T1D. Go ahead and pop those numbers into your calculator. Little wonder that I've started to lose a tiny amount of head hair.
Even as I wrote those numbers, I had to double check that it's right. It seems that it is. Of course, your diabetes may vary. I know that if you're sleeping for longer and using closed loop for your insulin delivery and BG management then your decision making is likely to be much less of burden on you. You're still making decision but probably a lesser amount. If you're struggling with diabetes burnout then your decision making may be vastly reduced or even nil.
It's not just the numbers, though. It's the magnitude of the decisions made. Each day, I average 8 injections of a substance that could easily result in my death. A mis-calculation is very common. That means a corrective injection or eating/drinking something carby to stop my blood glucose from falling too low. The latter being of my immediate concern but the former can also result in life altering complications and/or a shortening of my life. Those decisions to a non-diabetic or a person recently diagnosed must seem enormous and incredibly stressful.
They are.
Of course, the majority of T1D management is simply a persistent monotony. I once described it as 99% boredom, 1% sheer terror. That's because the decisions I make are mostly around what I need to inject to cover the activities and carbohydrates in my day to day life, needle changes (and lancets!), sensor changes, ordering prescriptions, attending appointments, giving up bodily fluids into little containers and handing them strangers... you get the idea. It's not exciting, thankfully! I'm pretty pleased with the boring. The last thing I want is an exciting chronic illness which might kill me.
Boring doesn't mean easy. I do the boring to avoid the terrifying or, at least, minimise the terror. I'm still here so I guess things are going alright, right now.
There is hope! and it's about time that I put more positivity into my blog. Technology reduces the decisions and the burden of T1D. I say that with the strongest conviction. I don't "loop" and I don't "pump" but simply using a CGM has helped to lighten my load dramatically in the last few years. It seems that pumping and looping (?) is a natural progression for me and I have no doubt that those progressions will lighten my load further. Of course, I hope for a cure but I'm realistic. I'm 44 years old and that probably won't happen in my lifetime but I do think that technology will continue to advance and make the T1D decisions for me. Perhaps 180 will only be associated with the darts, one day in the future.
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