Diabetic Oddity

Bowie was superb, wasn't he? Even several years after his death, his coolness only seems to increase with the passing of time. And look at his amazing eyes! - Obviously, I'm going to think that they are cool. I'm not here to talk about Bowie and what a great song Space Oddity is. That's not very Diabetesy. I did hear that song on Spotify, today and when Bowie sang "This is Major Tom to Ground Control" it brought about thoughts of how we describe Diabetes to others and how they ask questions about it to us.

Major Tom/Bowie went on to describe leaving his space capsule and entering the void of space. Bowie was a tremendous lyricist and wordsmith, of course but I wonder if he would've considered a hypo as "floating in a most peculiar way"?

Perhaps he would've come up with a description which is beyond most of us.

Where am I going with this blog? I've made comments about this previously. That the words we use to describe Diabetes, our Diabetes, cannot ever be challenged. I describe myself as a Diabetic or a Type 1 Diabetic. I take blood tests. I try to control my Diabetes.... Oh! Ground Control! Perhaps I'll stop trying to ignore Bowie in this blog and just carry on referring to his lyrics. 

Control is an interesting one. It seems to bring about great angst from some while others use it freely. Myself, I'll use that or "management". There are two reasons for that. Firstly, I'm of a vintage that is not upset by the words used by others unless they are used with the intent to cause upset or are used through hate. Secondly, sometimes, elements of MY Diabetes can be controlled. If an HCP asks me "How is your control?" or "How is your blood sugar control?" my first thought isn't how dare you use 'control' for a condition which isn't controllable! I'm not going to stand up and walk out or aggressively correct them. Instead, my default thought is that they're trying to get a basic grip on how I'm managing, lately. Lots of hypos, hypers, 100% in target, everything in between... something that can be improved? Great! If not, we move on to how magnificent I am. I accept "managing" and "control" in the same way.

I firmly believe that we shouldn't be challenging singular words in such circumstances. Reviews or appointments can be stressful occasions for us, as patients. I think our focus should be on gaining a positive from that 10-15 minute time slot and not leaving the clinic, feeling unnecessarily tense. HCPs are advised and trained on how to interact with patients but they're human beings. Human beings make mistakes sometimes especially after years of using some words which are now considered "No-Nos".

That doesn't mean we should ignore or forgive absolutely everything. I think if your HCP insults you or puts you down, if you're made to feel like a naughty schoolchild, then that's absolutely the right time to be vocal and complain. 

What is correct and not correct in regards to how HCPs interact with us is personal to you. Your own offence is completely valid, of course. I do think it's time that we stopped indicating what is right or wrong, in regards to language, to people living with Diabetes, though. There is no right or wrong. You don't need to change the words which you've been using forever when talking about your own condition. We have enough on our plates, in my opinion. Leave the "correct" way to talk about Diabetes to your overworked and exhausted HCPs. Overworked and exhausted after working in hotbeds of Covid-19 for 18 months - Perhaps something to consider when the next HCP puts a foot wrong.

One thing which I do struggle to control is my coffee addiction...

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

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Hobnobs in Hiding pt.2

 

Did you ever have a bad experience with alcohol? Or perhaps you ate at a particular restaurant and got sick. Did you then spend a while, avoiding that drink or that meal? Maybe you've never eaten or drunk something since the time you were left with no option but to bark into the toilet bowl, soon after. I don't blame you. That's exactly how I feel about Hobnobs but only the original ones. Cover them in chocolate (as seen above) and I'm more than happy to ruin my blood glucose for them. There is nothing wrong with the biscuits, per se, it all stems back to my childhood memories of them.

Hopefully you've read part one of this blog already. If not, just click/tap that link and catch up.

After feeding David hundreds of biscuits and probably tens of thousands of extra calories, hiding Hobnobs in school desks, school bins and my heavily policed home bin, you might think that enough was enough when it was time to start Secondary School. Wrong! A new term, a new school, new classmates, new biscuit hiding challenges! We go again! Raaaaaar!

Initially, I tried my old route of palming off my silver foiled packets of snacks to David. Things had changed. David was less keen to be given food. Perhaps he thought I considered him some kind of charity case, starving for my daily crumby offerings. In addition, the "big school" was exactly that and David wasn't always in my class and had made new friends. Dammit! It was time for a new plan.

The school bins were an option for me on some days. On others, I was a long way from any form of bin and had to take my Hobnobs home but not to deposit in the home bin. I'd already learned my lesson about dumping things there! In my wisdom I decided to hide these little packets under my bed. How very child-like! but, then I was only 11. If you're wondering how many Hobnobs will fit under a child's single bed then the answer is several hundred.

That worked well for a while until the day came for my mum to vacuum my room. Let's call this "H-Day".

I'd like to describe an almighty telling off, here. Something to big-up the drama of that moment. All bloggers use some artistic licence, right? That didn't happen. I was asked "Why?" and my response, blurted out without any real thought: "I don't like them any more".

I mean, it wasn't a lie! but it wasn't the whole truth, either. I didn't want to be the focus of attention, I didn't want to be different, I didn't want to be more different, I was already different. Even at 11, I thought that conversation wasn't something I and my parents were ready for. I didn't want to worry or upset them as much as I didn't want to confess my "weakness".

Finally, things changed. That was the last time I would handle Hobnobs, unwillingly ever again. I was sent to school with a juice box instead. That was perfect. The other kids would drink juice, cola, anything with lots of sugar during the morning, between the first and second lesson. I was fitting in!

The impacts of this time only became apparent as I got older. I lost countless hours in class and in education because of feeling hypo. For around 4 years (before things stopped) I was having a pretty bad hypo, two or three days per week in the hour before lunch at school. At one stage, I collapsed in school, during a PE lesson of Badminton. I had a huge seizure, bit my tongue and had to spend a week at home to recover. Even that incident didn't make me eat my snacks! By now, my friends were old enough and "safe" enough to know that I have diabetes. I still refused to tell them. The badminton incident was chalked down to me falling over and hitting my head, again, not a total lie! I certainly hit my head and fell over.

I decided to blog about this little period in my life because of Eating Disorders Awareness Week. I like to discuss my blog ideas with friends, in advance and we agreed that this might be more accurately described as Disordered Eating or even Disordered Diabetes! Let's go with the former, the latter might light some fires.

The stress, of varying intensities, at that time was frequent. Handling a new chronic illness diagnosis as a child is bad enough. How about a side-order of social anxiety and feeling terrible from hypoglycemia? 

I feel lucky. That period in my life could've easily escalated into something much worse. I did carry some of this behaviour into my teens and early adulthood but to a far less dangerous extent.

As an adult, I wonder how this might have been avoided. My conclusion is psychological support. Each person, regardless of age, should be offered support following news of a life changing diagnosis. If I could've normalised and processed the news of diabetes, I'm certain that this behaviour would not have happened. That may have resulted in an easier childhood and a different path as an adult. 

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

BUY DIABETIC DAD A COFFEE HERE

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