It's been a week, a tough week, for many in the UK. We celebrate Mother's Day under a very dark cloud for women in this country and around the world. Sometimes it's difficult to put yourself in the shoes of others but as a man, somebody who shares the same sex as the majority of people who commit horrific crimes against women, I think the least I can do is to read some of the shared experiences and try to understand what women go through. Beyond that, if I can change my own behaviour for the better then I will.
I tried to do the "read, listen and learn" thing during the peak of Black Lives Matter. I still do. That issue and others have not gone away.
How we treat others, how we address them, how we judge them and the tone we use is something very often "chewed over" by the diabetes community. Some stories are very concerning and remind me of my own bad experiences of diabetes clinics. Would you like a little story? Alright then! Not that you have a choice. I'm telling it:
After a few years of living with T1D, I began to relax a little too much with the condition. Finger pricks were not happening very often and I was eating and drinking anything at intervals which suited me. Pretty normal behaviour for a teenager, I guess. Of course, that behaviour resulted in a noticeable change in my HbA1c. I don't recall the numbers but I remember one particular incident which, even at the time, struck me as totally unacceptable. I saw my then DSN, following news that my last A1c had increased. The conversation began with suggestions that I was an angry young man. (She was right, I was a teenager with a chronic condition, given no psychological support. I was pretty tetchy!) Followed by news of what will happen to me in the coming years if I didn't get a grip of my diabetes. Once the fear mongering over blindness, kidney disease and heart attacks had concluded we (she) moved on to amputations. "I think I should take you to the amputations ward, then you'll see what will happen to you unless you sort yourself out."
Little wonder, you might think, that I stopped attending diabetes clinic appointments at the first opportunity, as an adult.
That tale was from the late 1980s / early 1990s. Over 30 years later, things are different. However, the fear of HCP tone, attitude and judgement is still a thing and not just for me. How do I know? Take a look at This Poll on Twitter
Firstly, let me just say that 291 votes is absolutely NOT a true representation of the diabetes community. It is a TINY fraction of the people living with any type of diabetes. Secondly, I was wrong. I was surprised at the results. I really expected the fear of complications to be an enormous winner. It seems apparent, at least from this little poll, that HCP tone, attitude and judgements are very much on the minds of some when attending their appointments. I think we still have some way to go in that regard.
Kindness in clinic is not a one way street. Kindness towards HCPs is not only for clinics, either. Would you like to know how I start every appointment?
"Good morning/afternoon Mr, Mrs, Dr or even first name terms. How are you?"
Don't get me wrong, I don't really care that much! This is my appointment! but I do think it's a polite thing to say and it gets the appointment off on a friendly footing.
Would you like to know how I communicate with HCPs on social media?
Politely.
My past experiences with HCPs have no impact on how I communicate with others, today.
HCPs are people, too. They mostly have very demanding jobs, families, relationships and health concerns of their own. They don't deserve to be hauled over the coals by people they might have never met or even interacted with. And sometimes for the most ridiculous of reasons! The defaming of some has been appalling and that needs to end. If you're happy to make hurtful comments about HCPs that you've never met then I really think you've no business to advise others on kindness.
That's it for today. I encourage everybody who reads my blog to try to be a little kinder to everybody around them.
Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!
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