Diabetic Dad's Stuff

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

Fear


 The difficulties of T1D have been chewed over and over for years. New difficulties appear, from time to time, as people become comfortable or brave enough to start talking about them openly. I think we've seen that, recently with eating disorders and the mental health impacts on individuals living with Type 1 Diabetes. 

That's good, right? If we talk and share experiences then others don't feel alone, HCPs take notice, treatments and referrals can happen, we can get better or maintain health. I've always been a sharer in regards to my diabetes and, if you know me well enough you know that I encourage others to talk as openly as they care to.

It's not easy to share. At some point you'll probably be on the receiving end of negativity. Eventually, somebody will likely tell you that you are "attention seeking" or "showing off". That may be true. Social media is a place for seeking attention for engagement and I'm certainly guilty of showing off... I'm a sharer, remember? but for the right reasons. You may also be on the receiving end of self doubt. Did you share too much? Eek! Perhaps it's time for a social media break or to even abandon your accounts entirely and become a lurker, a reader, no longer sharing because it's safer that way. That happens. It's a shame when it does but it's also understandable. The Internet can be a vicious place, a scary place. #DOC is not an exception.

Social media fear is certainly a thing. I know I've written many tweets and decided against sending them. Sometimes I light fires on Twitter but I really do prefer the peace. Honestly, I do!

Fear plays a huge role in living with diabetes. I've read countless tweets from people who are frightened of what's happening to them and what might happen to them. The eye clinic, the lasers, the blood tests, are my kidneys okay? why have I got pins and needles in my foot? That chest pain.... Perhaps some of those are familiar to you. And your reaction? Fear.

Fear of complications and fear of dying seems natural. After 36 years T1D and a good taste of eye complications, I still "feel the fear". I don't think about things each day but, from time to time I get that moment where everything stops and my brain is entirely focused on what I have. Then it's gone. That briefest moment containing all the fear, all the self pity, all the anger and sadness. It might only be a split second! It feels like I've swallowed an anvil. Then it's gone.

What's the solution? 

I suspect the answer is in acceptance and to expedite acceptance probably means therapy, if not for all then for many. 

Right now, I don't think therapy would serve much purpose for me. I do, however think the newly diagnosed should be seeing a therapist as routinely as a dietician, perhaps even more frequently. And for as long as it takes. 

I reached the stage of acceptance a long time ago. Fear still crippled me when eye complications appeared on the horizon. My head went into the sand and instead of facing up to some uncomfortable weeks and months and coming out relatively unscathed, I hid away and my reward was a lifetime of visual impairment after two years of surgeries and pain. 

Would the news of eye complications and an offer of therapy have helped me? Possibly. I may have faced the fear of lasers and injections instead of pretending it wasn't happening. 

Could it help others? Possibly.

Is it time for newly diagnosed diabetics and people diagnosed with complications from diabetes to be offered immediate, on site, therapy as a matter of urgency and total normality?

You tell me! The comments box is below.  

1 comment:

  1. Personally I've found a community of friends with diabetes and I learn new things every day. This community, which regularly extends, shares knowledge, experience, insecurity, frailty and incredible empowerment. I'm not sure a therapist could give that. Newly diagnosed diabetes is a particular kind of loneliness.
    I stumbled upon a set of people whose approach was warm, friendly and non-judgemental and I've learned so much and gained so much from them. I lurked and watched from the sidelines for a while and then found myself contributing! Most significantly I owned my diabetes rather than my diabetes owning me

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