Diabetic Dad's Stuff

Wednesday, December 28, 2022

Oversharing in Diabetes

A young male is pictured with his mouth wide open as if shouting into a microphone


I remember writing about sharing information, data, stories in diabetes before, probably a year or two ago, and my thoughts on the subject haven't really changed much as we head towards 2023 but a few things have happened which have sparked conversation in the last year.

On the Twitter, I tweeted this about Sharing T1D yesterday. I'm fine with others liking or not liking to share their diabetes information. Health, including diabetes, is a very personal subject and often subjected to stigmatising remarks, bullying and sometimes just generally unhelpful (and often unsolicited) advice. Little wonder that some prefer to not share anything in regards to their own diabetes with the prospect of such negativity. I really understand that, I hid my T1D for a long time because I didn't want to hear the advice or the patronising encouragement or have to explain what it was, what type, do I have to inject... yadda, yadda. It was just so much easier to hide it for the majority of the time and social media is such an easy place to hide. It's easy to have lurker accounts on pretty much every platform, easy to sit back and read rather than joining in the conversations. Hiding and not sharing is a very safe place to be.

There is a safety aspect to consider when sharing, too. Who knows who lurks behind the keyboards of others and what their intentions might be? Only last summer, I was made aware of a prolonged period of stalking and accusational tweets aimed towards me from an Australian advocate account which I'd blocked some 18 months beforehand. Disturbing stuff which took me away from Twitter for a few days to consider my options. Thankfully, that episode came to an end once I'd brought it to public attention but it was shocking and upsetting. It's very easy to upset somebody on social media without trying and those we upset well, they might not have enough sandwiches for a picnic. How do we share but stay safe? There is no simple answer apart from avoid offering personal details to people who you don't know. Sometimes, even that might not be enough if a determined person wants to track you down, find your employer, etc.

So, is it worth it? Yes! I think that offering your story, your experiences, your info can be really helpful to your peers. I imagine that you've read something in regards to diabetes which you've found useful in how you manage your own diabetes. Maybe those words came from somebody living with the same type of diabetes, a person who was willing to share their experiences and information. That's why you should consider sharing your experiences and information! It is the cheapest and easiest way to "pay it forward". Of course, don't make it easy for the sandwich deprived to locate you in person, avoid publicising your phone number and sort code and if an unpleasant encounter does occur then my best advice is to ignore it. You might choose to use the mute function on your chosen platform rather than the block button to minimise the oxygen given to the angry fires. To not give oxygen to the fire has been a long term piece of advice of mine but I'm still guilty of doing the opposite from time to time. I'm only human and the urge to vent can be overwhelming in the face of serious sandwich deprivation. I'll try harder in 2023.

What about the feelings of others when you share? Perhaps you've had a great HbA1c, your best ever, and you hit your socials to spread the news and celebrate your good day. I suspect you'll mostly be met with encouragement and good cheer from your friends and peers. However, you may also be met with words which dissuade you from sharing such info because others might be having a tough time with their A1c or general diabetes management. I have a lot of sympathy for anybody who is struggling with their diabetes, I try to make myself available to anybody who needs to talk through groups, mentoring or just a simple message exchange but the struggles of others should never stop you talking about your own diabetes if you've had a good day or a good result. This condition is relentless and despite the tech advances it will continue to be so for the foreseeable. Little victories need to be celebrated, I find them to be morale boosting, I feel more in control of my diabetes and, when others share their wins, I feel encouraged by them and pleased for my peers.

To not share results or information through fear of upsetting others is a backwards step in peer support. If we were to stop sharing our lived experiences, what worked, what didn't, what hurts, what itches, a great A1c, a dodgy TIR, etc then how do we learn about advances in tech and medicine and care and solutions? Our diabetes team? Yeah - I'm not sure that the closed looping crowd would agree. I wouldn't agree, either. Without reading the experiences of my peers, I wouldn't have discovered Flash, CGM and insulin pump therapy as soon as I did - three things that massively improved my diabetes burden and numbers.

If you do feel negatively about the shared information or experiences of others then I think it might be worthwhile to seek support from different areas, especially if such sharing is becoming overwhelming to you and making your own diabetes burden even worse. 

I am pro-sharing when it comes to diabetes. It is the foundation of peer support, in my opinion and there are very few dangers from tweeting your last A1c result. Oversharing is where the dangers lie, keep your private info protected and remember that fire and oxygen thing.

Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!

 


Thursday, December 22, 2022

Diabetic Christmas

Santa claus laughing and holding his stomach in both hands in a jolly fashion

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas. It's that time of the year again! Fun, food and excess are on the agenda for many, including the diabetic community. Whaaaaaaaat? But, you can't have excess, food or fun if you have diabetes, can you?!

If you were to pay attention to many media outlets, websites and the social media accounts - often claiming to be a diabetes expert, doctor, lifestyle coach or miracle worker who can cure you of diabetes and herpes (!?), then! you might be forgiven for believing that Christmas and diabetes do not mix. I can't and won't talk about your diabetes in relation to Christmas, that's a ridiculous thing to attempt because I know very little about you and your diabetes or how Christmas impacts upon you. The common use of "We" when diabetes advocates talk about the condition has never sat well with me. "We" suggests to me that a person is expressing the views or conveying the words of a community largely or entirely. In reality "We" refers to the person behind the keyboard or microphone and perhaps a relatively small number of people who have diabetes. It's totally alright to use the word "I" when expressing yourself, I promise. So, with that little rant off my chest *I* have a few things to say about T1D and Christmas.

T1D because that's the diabetes I live with. I'm a Type 1 Diabetic. 

Christmas has historically been a tricky time of the year for me especially those first few years as a recently diagnosed diabetic. Looking back, the avoidance of chocolates and sweets and pursuing precise carb counting seemed very reasonable at the time. Strict "control" was hammered into me and my parents. Of course, I stole sweets and chocolates and had strangely elevated blood glucose for several years at Christmas time. That advice and care seems a lifetime ago and indeed it is, I've recently passed 38 years with T1D. Today, there is no advice offered to me unless you count the unsolicited, largely nonsense, advice offered via the sources mentioned above. Christmas was a tricky time but no longer. Why?

Education has played a large part in understanding my own T1D. That has emerged through the lived experiences of my friends and peers and, to some degree at least, the official information published by recognised authorities on the subject. Alongside the education, the tools of 2022 are a million miles better than the tools of 1984. Come to think of it, the tools of 1984 weren't much of a thing at all. Finger pricking took an age and involved popping down to B&Q for a colour chart. Berocca style tablets had to be dropped into a tube of your own urine and injecting insulin involved borrowing a javelin from Tessa Sanderson and mixing two different types of Banting Juice together yourself. Definitely not the good old days and before 1984 it wasn't exactly a rose garden either. The tools of today are simply incredible in comparison. A tiny pump and a CGM are attached to me and they're helping me to effectively manage my blood glucose and live a much less burdensome life than in the years gone by.

Less burden, well managed blood glucose... it sounds like Christmas might not be such a stressy diabetic experience now. It's not for me. If I know the carb count, I bolus for it. If I don't know the carb count then I'll guess and correct any mistakes later on. The CGM alerts me when I'm high or low OR even when I'm within 15 minutes of a high or low event. I can relax and enjoy what any other person might do during Christmas. That never seemed like a possibility to me when I was young and I'd simply given up on the idea of an easier diabetes during my 20s and 30s.

Apparently, life begins at 40! My diabetic life has certainly gone through a renaissance since I hit 40, since I grabbed the little shit by the neck and took charge, since I embraced and accepted it, since I discovered a huge community of peers - dozens of whom are now really great friends, since I pushed for the technology which I need to lift the burden and improve the numbers which I get a little obsessed about from time to time. 

A Diabetic Christmas feels like... Christmas! to me, at least. I hope it feels like that to you and that you have a relaxing and fun time with the people you love. If you're struggling for any reason then please don't feel that you're doing anything wrong. You're not a bad diabetic! Help and support is available through so many avenues that it would be almost impossible for me to list them all. Instead, don't give up. Seek the help that you need and push for the support, information, medications and technologies that you need for you and your diabetes. Merry Christmas.

  Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!
 

Saturday, December 17, 2022

38

The number 38 is shiny gold on a white background

I find it difficult to avoid reflecting on events when an anniversary approaches. Sometimes, that reflection is very positive!- many great things have happened in my life. Sometimes, it's less positive and it's difficult to avoid wondering "what if..."

What if I wasn't diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes on my 8th birthday in 1984? How different might my life have been? Pretty deep questions and I imagine many of you have asked yourself the same. It's a pointless thing to do, of course, because we can't change what has been and each time I allow myself to ponder the impossible that is quickly where my thoughts finish. Acceptance is a massive part of living with diabetes and probably many other conditions and disabilities. With no cure in sight, it's important to play the hand that life gave to you. If you're still in the game then you haven't lost even if life dealt you a hand that looks like a foot. A diabetic foot?  No, let's not go there!

Acceptance is where I am with my T1D. It's given me a kicking, robbed me of various things not least some of my eyesight, yet I don't feel anger or upset towards it. I've been through the grief and it's a very normal thing to experience when you're diagnosed with a chronic illness and any complications from that - if you're going through that then please don't feel that it's wrong or weird. Hopefully, you'll get to the stage of acceptance and playing your foot of a hand as best as you can.

Acceptance is now, of course. I'm 45 (at the time of publishing) for one more day but who knows what 50 will look like? Will complications strike and leave me a bitter, yet young looking, 50 year old? Considering the future is a very middle aged thing to do, I think. Considering the future when you've had T1D for almost 4 decades brings up many different thoughts alongside the sports car, leather trousers and inappropriate relationships with women 20 years your junior. It's easy to slip into thinking the worst but maybe the focus should be on the possible good, if not great, things that the future could hold. Diabetes tech has exploded in the last 5 - 10 years. I write this blog post, today, with the most stable T1D that I've ever had thanks to technology, largely and peer support. There is no reason why that can't continue or even improve further. There is no reason for me to not be here in 30 years, 40 years or more, assuming I don't get hit by a bus or develop a terminal illness. That might be disappointing for some of you on social media but the same applies to you too. Life with T1D is improving all the time and while we might not witness a cure, I think we can still live full, exciting, wonderful lives if we embrace the condition and do what we can to manage it - that will differ from person to person, I know.

Young adult me didn't care about acceptance of T1D, teenage me preferred to ignore it and the 7 year old me who was desperately ill on this day 38 years ago just wanted to stop drinking water and peeing every 5 minutes, to play with his Star Wars toys. 

Perhaps peer support is the key in helping others to find acceptance. I try to offer support to others when I can. I've mentored, created areas for others to talk, promoted community, written articles, spoken on podcasts and radio shows and jumped at the chance of helping my friends and peers when the opportunity has presented itself. That might seem like a lot if you're juggling your family life and a full time job. It is! Sometimes, my day is full of work and diabetes advocacy from waking until I sleep again. I'm not complaining, I have taken far more from talking about diabetes than I have repaid. Talking about your diabetes is what you can do to support your peers. By doing that, you're normalising the condition and all the little annoyances, major traumas, sleep losses and victories which you experience. Talk honestly, use your own words and terminology - there is no wrong way to talk about your diabetes. 

 Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do appreciate your visit and your support. As you might know, I LOVE COFFEE! So I've teamed up with a thing called Buy Me A Coffee. If you enjoy my content and appreciate the time it takes to create such things then you can buy me a coffee! If you leave your Twitter @ name when you buy me a coffee, I will personally thank you. If you'd rather be anonymous then that's totally cool. Thanks for the caffeine!